Bears in the Lot

from Cautionary Tales by Rhubarb Whiskey

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lyrics by Poppy Z. Brite
composition / arrangement by Rhubarb Whiskey


In a bar in Talkeetna, Alaska,
I was having a Wild Turkey night
For my baby sent me to Alaska
Just to prove his geography right.

As I sat there a-sippin' my bourbon,
A feller burst into the bar,
And he said, "Y'all better keep drinkin'
Cause you cannot get back to your car."

There were bears, bears, bears in the lot
Bears in the lot and tears in my heart
There were bears, bears, bears in the lot,
Bears in the parking lot.

Now I always been frightened of Nature,
Not to mention an ole grizzly bear,
But tonight if he started to eat me,
I wasn't real sure I would care

For my baby sent me to Alaska,
Though I thought what we had was real nice,
Cause he wanted to prove that Texas was bigger
And Alaska was all made of ice.


Well, all eyes were on me when I slid off my barstool
And went walking out of the place.
Didn't matter to me if that bear ate my spleen
Or tore off my poor crying face.

I said, "Mr. Bear, I'm a loser
In love and geography too,
And now I'm a crapulous boozer,
Might not even be good food for you."

Mr. Bear said, "Old Doc,
It about stops my clock
Realizin' how sim'lar we are,
Cause you know Mrs. Bear
Kicked me out of our lair
Why you think I done come to this bar?"

So we set to drinkin',
And by the next mornin',
Wasn't no one could tell us apart!


from Cautionary Tales, track released June 22, 2011
Emchy - vocals
Boylamayka - guitar
Sizzle Le Fey - mandolin


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Rhubarb Whiskey Oakland, California

Rhubarb Whiskey has been referred to as the anti-prohibition, hellbilly goth, the bluegrass Dresden Dolls, and the fortunate love child of Bill Monroe and Sid Vicious. Bringing you atmospheric, literate, romantic drinking songs that are sexy, rugged and furiously
alive this murder ballad americana band is here to charm you with their tales of love, friendship and the devils in the bottle.
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